When we’re out having fun, I can go from being happy-go-lucky to being crabby in the blink of an eye. I know it makes her uncomfortable and she says it makes me look uneducated and low-class. My wife and I generally carpool to work and she hears all my cussing and sees all my gesturing. I’ll yell, pound the steering wheel, and once I even chased someone off the freeway to teach him a lesson. When people cut me off or drive in a manner dangerous to others around them, I get furious. You might say that I have a good deal of road rage. I don’t think I am, but maybe she’s right.Īnother thing she complains about is how I drive. She says I am often sarcastic and cutting. I don’t want to fight, but sometimes things erupt and I blow up at her. It’s very discouraging and depressing.įor me, depression and irritability are closely linked. Even though we are aware of it we don’t seem to be able to do anything about it. I can feel unappreciated, unheard, uncared about. We used to be very close, but now we often seem like opposites and that creates its own kind of stress. When she persists I often snap at her.Īlthough I love my wife, I feel we have grown apart over the years. I don’t have much physical or mental energy these days. There is always so much to do and there never seems to be enough time. Even though I have been here a long time, and I don’t think I am vulnerable to losing my job, I still worry. There has been a great deal of “consolidation” over the last few years and many people have been let go or forced into early retirement. I’m an electrical engineer and work for a large company in the Midwest. I think my irritability is related to my time of life and to the stresses that seem to be mounting both at work and at home. Now it’s like living with an angry brick! My husband used to be the most positive, upbeat, funny person I know. I don’t even get the hugs I did in the past and, when he does touch me I feel grabbed rather than caressed. The thing that bothers me most is how unaffectionate he has become. I’m not kidding, that’s what he tells me. If his socks or underwear are missing, I must have put them somewhere to piss him off. I know that sounds bizarre, but that’s how he is thinking. If there’s a problem, it must be because of the way I’ve raised them. If the kids aren’t living up to his standards it is my fault when they’re good it is because he has been such a positive influence in their lives. Mark still works from 6:30 until 4:30 every day, but now his Dad accuses him of being unmotivated, lazy, and any other negative thing he can think to say. My husband has always shared my view that Mark is one of the hardest-working kids we know. It’s so surprising because our son has always been industrious and competent. He is particularly hard on our 19-year-old son Mark. Recently he has begun venting to anyone who will listen about how horrible we all are. His life energy is down and his sex drive has really dropped off. He has gradually become sullen, angry, and moody. For about a year now-it could be even longer, it’s hard to know exactly-I have felt my husband of 22 years pulling away from us.
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